Coping Skills Post-Pandemic
The last year has been a tough one as we all know. This last year has included job transitions, insurance problems, the death of a dear friend, surgery for myself, and surgery for my dog of 10 years. As the year has been difficult for everyone, we all utilize whatever coping skills we have available to us and that we can confidently employ. I’ll admit, most of the easily accessible coping mechanisms I use are not necessarily ones that I would recommend people indulge in. I rely far too heavily on food and drink to escape from my seemingly ever present woes. I’m feeling better here in the last week or so since Cinnamon has been released from captivity. She seems to be doing well, which enables me to find space in which I can practice good coping skills. My therapist tasked me with making a list so I figured I’d share it with y’all.
In no particular order:
Paint something
I would put drawing however, I find drawing to be stressful at times as I have a certain expectation as to how the end result needs to look. I make drawings that are fairly precise and I can be quite critical of how a sketch turns out. Painting doesn’t have the same sort of exacting standards that drawing has. That’s not to say that I don’t want it to look good, but the style of painting I love to do does not have to be perfect. It’s more organic than sketching or digital art. We’ve put some of my paintings on our Instagram feed so if you’d like to check those out it’ll give you a good idea of what I usually make.
Take a shower
Now I don’t know if this would have come to me as a coping skill at all without reading it as a suggestion online. At times it’s quite difficult to muster up the desire to take a shower (baths are impossible) but taking a long, very hot, very unfocused shower is really nice and helps me forget the things that I’m worried about. There’s no stress to hurry because I have to go somewhere, there’s no need to shave if I don’t want to (although I do enjoy this sometimes), and with the new water heater we purchased a year or so ago I can sit under the hot water as long as I desire.
Write a note to someone you care about
Good gravy let me tell you, I like this idea. Expressing my care to people who are important to me is super nice. Even if I didn’t give the note to them, just writing down why they’re amazing, or the things they do for me, or why I like their existence is wonderful. I can remember times I’ve written things about Miayah when explaining my relationship to her to a potential date and it completely takes me out of my head.
Make a gratitude list
I’ve done a version of this in the past. It was many years ago and it was more of a “write things that make me happy” sort of thing. It’s approximately the same sort of exercise. I had a nice notebook and the whole thing was eventually filled out from front to back with things I enjoy. I’d like to employ this again. The things that make me happy can range from things as simple as bubble gum to complex concepts such as Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. This is a great one for a lot of people since it doesn’t take skill or a lot of focus.
Cry
For me, finding a good show to cry to is a great release. This last weekend I cried for two days straight about this super sad show called Navillera, and afterwards I felt much better. Even though I didn’t cry specifically about things happening in my life, the release of tears was very good. It was the pressure valve that I didn’t even know that I needed.
Laugh
Something I used to enjoy was telling very bad jokes and then laughing about it. They were terrible jokes but I found them so weirdly funny that I’d just crack up while or after telling them. After thinking about this I purchased a small journal and have been filling it up with dad jokes. I’ve only got a few pages but they make me stupidly happy. An example: What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated….. :D.
Go watch the sky
This may seem arbitrary however it falls along the lines of removing myself from the situation that’s causing me distress - whatever the situation may be. I love clouds, I like identifying constellations, I enjoy finding shapes in the clouds, I love meteor showers and seeing shooting stars. Whenever I take time to sit in the reclining chair in the backyard in the dark on a clear night I always feel better when I come inside.
Chase Eebles
She’s always good for entertainment. Going into the yard with her and chasing her around while she darts through the grass like a wild animal is always fun and takes me out of my head. If you have a pet or a child that could provide easy, simple joy with physical activity I strongly recommend it.
Choose an easy win
If things are overwhelming, if anxiety is kicking my ass, or if I can’t decide where to start with my to do list - I’ll choose an easy win. Take a little teeny easy miniscule task that needs to be done and do it. It gives me a sense of accomplishment, takes a tiny bit of stress away because something is crossed off the list, and may lead to feeling like something else on the list can be accomplished.
Inject curiosity into the moment
Let’s say I’m feeling anxious: I can stop and register where the feeling is in the body (I am familiar with this step already) but then inject further investigation - “Is this sensation stronger on my left side or my right side?” “How is this affecting other parts of my body?” “What other physical sensations are happening?” Don’t put off or look away from the sensation - pay attention and explore it immediately as it can ease the stress of whatever was happening in my mind.
Set aside time to think and plan
Instead of getting wrapped up in the what ifs and even ifs, I can set aside a few minutes after becoming aware of the physical sensations, to create a list of how to deal with the trigger of the anxiety. Plans made in the throes of a bad anxiety spike don’t help in the same way as they just feed into what if that plan doesn’t work, as well as they’re not as clearly thought out.
This is the beginning of what I think will end up being a very useful list. It’s been easy to fall into bad mental and physical habits during the pandemic but I’m ready to shake them all off. I’ll remember that I can grow and change and become happier with myself without turning to drastic, crazy, out of my comfort zone measures.
