Year of the Lost Summer
Yesterday Miayah and I went to her parents’ house and had a get together with a group of fully vaccinated people. We had a little potluck with delicious foods and we went swimming and there was drinking and fun. Earlier in the day Miayah and I went to Target and we picked up a couple new swimsuits on the first try, which was really delightful since normally it takes multiple trips and a lot of frustration to find suits that fit appropriately. Miayah made potato salad and red rice, I grabbed vodka, lemonade, and mango juice, and it was a fine day.
Now that more and more people are vaccinated it’s possible to start enjoying activities outside of the house again. We’re slowly moving out into new places and seeing people we haven’t seen in forever. I’ve been missing our friends pretty hard lately and I’m really excited to be able to see them all again. I’ve been missing the parties that we used to throw. This summer feels like a return to normalcy - 2020 was the year of the lost summer. We’d made so many tentative plans last year - a vacation, tubing, 4th of July party, grilling with friends, tea with friends - and they all got dashed by covid.
I am in desperate need of a vacation as I’m sure many people are right about now. The tension and stress of the last 15 months is finally fading and it’s leaving most people drained and listless. Many are still in financially precarious situations and many are realizing how underappreciated they are in their careers. I’ve realized that I’m clinging to a job for the security of health insurance while I’m slowly being eaten away by stressors. I need to get away for a while. Come dream with me for a minute.
My ideal vacation…. At this moment I want to be on a beach. Miayah and I have gone to Florida for several years on vacation in the past and that sure does sound good again. It’s a 14 hour drive but laying on the beach every day for a week sounds amazing. In an ideal world Miayah and I (and her boyfriend!) would rent a house on the coast, directly on a private beach, with the beach itself cordoned off. We’d take all the dogs and let them run free in the sand. Eebles would have a blast chasing the seagulls. Watson would probably pout the whole time. I’d slather myself in sunscreen, take off the straps to my swimsuit, and lay in the sun until I got overheated. I’m sure Cinnamon would lay right next to me the whole time. She’s not much of a water dog but she might be tempted to brave the waves if she got warm enough.
I’ve tried to convince Miayah on these vacations that lying in the sun is the best activity. I love the tingling sensation of the sun rays playing across my skin, the feeling of water being dried slowly on my legs, the sea breeze rolling over me and rippling the brim of the sun hat I’d have over my face. She gets impatient and restless. The longest I’ve gotten her to stay on a towel next to me was maybe 3 minutes. The whole time she kept asking if it was time to flip yet and if she could be done. It always made me laugh. She’d much rather swim in the ocean until she was too deep to touch the bottom.
Once, when I was very young, my sister and I were on a beach in California. There was a very long pier and she and I decided that we were going to swim to the end of it, not realizing that it was easily a quarter of a mile long. We made it almost all the way to the end when suddenly there were two lifeguards flanking us, who’d decided we needed saving. At the time I thought it was silly but I was very young. Looking back I now realize that my sister was very tired and wouldn’t have had the energy to make it all the way back to shore without the lifeguard’s help. It’s funny how fond childhood memories for me typically have an air of danger with hindsight employed. We made it back and decided we’d never swim to the end of a pier again.
Last time Miayah and I were in Florida a huge stingray swam by us as we floated on top of the waves. We were in pretty deep, I couldn’t touch the bottom, and it was this giant shadow that passed over the white sand under the water. It was cool and terrifying for a moment because we couldn't tell what it was immediately. I wish I could have touched it; I've touched stingrays in the aquarium before and they’re like velvet sandpaper. It’s the coolest sensation and if you ever have the chance to pet a stingray I highly recommend you do it.
Anyway. I am ready for a vacation. I’m dreaming about it, I’m ready for it, and I really feel like a break would help me gain perspective on a lot of things in my life right now. Yesterday’s swimming and little get together really helped me realize that I’m allowed to give myself some room to relax. Every day doesn’t need to be a push to do everything. I don’t need to give my 110% effort every single day because that’s an easy way to burn out. Now that we’re not stuck in our house anymore I can breathe a little better and I can find ways to have more fun. The lost summer of 2020 doesn’t hold me anymore. I’ve got the summer of 2021 to find my passions again and allow myself to relax and enjoy life a little better.