Finding Small Joys and Backyard Things

It’s the end of March! This year has already been super full mentally and emotionally. When the end of the month rolls around, I take the time to look back and see what worked, what didn’t work, and take a quick check on how I’m feeling. It’s also the time I start building my intentions and goals for the next month. Let me tell you - March was a doozy for me. 2021 has not been a great year, and everytime it feels like I’ve finally got a handle on things something else rolls along to punch me in the gut. That has basically kept me in a high stress situation that has been slowly eating into my mental health situation. It was affecting my mood, my food, and my willingness to engage with anything. I basically wanted to curl up and hide in my bed constantly. Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m constantly looking for experiences - I’m rarely idle in any capacity. That level of engagement is what brings joy and satisfaction into my life. Something needed to shift.

Anyone who has struggled with depression knows that it isn’t simply a matter of “getting through it” or just to “do something” about it. I’m glad that I have people around me who support me and who I feel vulnerable enough to lean on. Yesterday, Becky and I sat down together to really look at how we were feeling and talk about what was happening in our brains. It turns out, we’re pretty much on the same page. We’re both feeling overwhelmed, a bit lonely, and worried about how things are happening in our lives. So we decided to make some shifts. I am loathe to say changes, because at one point, these things were part of regular routines. 2020 felt like a lost year, and I’m sure many people out there share that sentiment. We are both incredibly passionate about experience, and being in lockdown has made engaging in experiences really difficult. The erosion happened slowly, so we didn’t notice it really. We decided that we would find ways to do things that helped us feel like we were having experiences that fuel us. I’m also feeling like we’re a bit late to this party, but hey, at least we got here.

When I talk about experiences, I’m not talking major life changing things. I’m talking about the small things - going out to dinner, checking out a bar we really like, window shopping in outdoor shopping centers, checking out local craft shops for inspiration. It was always something small, but things that got us up and moving around, even if it was just walking. There’s something really different about going into a local shop instead of looking for things online. I’d been to one of the local home improvement stores recently, and saw a bunch of new plants that I thought Becky would love, so we decided to get in the car to go check it out. We weren’t really planning on getting anything, but if we ended up with a flower plant, all the better. It’s something so small, but it really helped us refocus on the little things that gave us a lot of joy. That small window shopping excursion turned into something that helped fuel us, and that’s the coolest thing!

When we got home, we were feeling a lot better and decided to tackle things in our backyard that we have been putting off for ages. We have always wanted some sort of outdoor space, and we have a pretty nice backyard. We had already worked on our container garden, and really enjoyed the time spent together doing something that we both enjoy. While the garden looks great, we had not done anything with the rest of the yard. It really needed some help.

You can see how over the years things have just sort of gone by the wayside in the backyard. We had trash that had accumulated from various activities, most recently adding to our garden. We had laid out the umbrellas when it was too windy, and things around the yard were just disorganised. So we pulled our rubbish bin into the backyard and just started picking things up. Frankly, if that was as far as we had gotten, I would have been really pleased! Really, it’s a lot like my “I can do 15 minutes of anything” stance. We got started, and things just kept snowballing.

We were gifted the astroturf a while ago when we were thinking about putting in a deck. We had used it to smother the underlying grass to make it easier to level the yard. We’re not up to building a deck right now, so that’s not a thing, but we kind of like it, and our dogs love it, so we left it in place. We did take the time to smooth it out and clear away the leaves that were all over it. It’s surprisingly nice to walk on. We also rearranged the lawn furniture we have strewn about the yard and picked up any remaining trash. We had several large spools in our garage that we were gifted ages ago and it turns out the centre hole is just the right size for the umbrella stands and umbrellas we had! So far so good, the wind hasn’t knocked the umbrellas over, which has been a HUGE problem for us in the past. We did have to test them to see if they would still open and ultimately, they did! We did have to spray them down though, and they’re a bit stained. I’m sure at some point I’ll figure out how to clean them a bit better, but for now, they work.

All in all, we spent just about an hour working outside. It started out as a small project that we both figured we would devote a couple minutes to, and it snowballed into something much better. We had only intended to go look at the new flower plants, but the small piece of feeling more normal really helped us feel more like ourselves. Now we have a backyard space we can use, and we’re going to enjoy it. I hope that you are able to find the small things that help you feel normal.